I Will Never Be a Master

“He is the blessed and only Sovereign, the King of kings, and the Lord of lords, who alone is immortal and who lives in unapproachable light, whom no one has seen or can see, to him be honor and eternal power. Amen.” ~ 1 Timothy 6:15b-16 (CSB)

——————————

I have always loved learning new things. I love being in a classroom. While most college students are overjoyed at the idea of completing their degree and never stepping foot in a classroom again, I was ready to be back in class the moment I walked across the stage at graduation. My professors had long encouraged me to consider seminary education, reminding me that, while we could only cover so much during my undergraduate years, seminary would allow me the opportunity to really get into the weeds of theological study. And so, I looked forward to this new season of study with eagerness for all the information that I would learn.

A master’s degree. I am now working to attain a master’s degree. What an interesting title. Unfortunately, four weeks into my studies, I fear the title of “Master” is one I will never attain—at least when it comes to theology.

One week into my classes, I was already confused. Every professor, within his first lecture, mentioned how his class was not going to answer all my questions. Pause. Is that not what I’m in school for? I did not understand. They all told me the same thing my undergraduate professors told me: “We will cover what we can in the time that we have.” But this is graduate school, so why can't we cover all the things? I didn’t understand, but I couldn’t argue with them.

I began completing assignments, falling back into the familiar rhythm of checking things off my list. For my Introduction to Seminary course, I was asked to read a short book titled How to Stay Christian in Seminary. I assumed it would be a quick and easy read, but I could not have been more wrong. In fewer than 80 pages, I encountered some of the most challenging and convicting exhortations I had ever heard from those who had walked this path before me. One statement made by David Mathis particularly struck my pride: “With so many commentaries, articles, textbooks, lectures, and assignments, not to mention blog posts and gospel tweets, available to us, we can easily become numb to the fact that we are able to know anything about God” (Mathis and Parnell, 42).

That thought had never crossed my mind before. The possibility of not knowing anything about God was not an idea I could comprehend. I have known things about God for as long as I can remember. Mathis continued, “All this information, all the effortless access to truth about God, freezes over our sense of miracle. We then presume. We read ourselves into a sense of entitlement, as if the availability of all this knowledge makes perfectly good sense and we have a right to it” (Mathis and Parnell, 42). Yikes. I had already begun to realize that I would not find answers to every question I had, but now I was confronted with the reality that I had begun to treat God’s self-revelation as an ordinary subject to be mastered. God is nothing of the sort.

In the book of Job, Elihu makes the following profound statement to Job: “Behold, God is great, and we know him not” (Job 36:26, ESV). God is great. His ways are unsearchable. He is incomparable, and He is greater than any creature can fathom. As Herman Bavink once noted, “He infinitely transcends our picture of him, our ideas of him, [and] our language concerning him” (Bavink, 47). There is just no way for any person to wrap their head completely around the majesty and magnificence of God. And, for some reason, I thought I'd get all my questions about God answered because I was in a master’s program. That’s ridiculous. Well, then I went down the rabbit hole of wondering how I was going to comprehend any of the concepts about God that I was so eager to study, but I was comforted by Mathis’ reminder that, although man can never comprehend all of God, He has graciously made Himself known through Christ, Scripture, and creation, so that we can truly know Him as He has ordained. God made Himself known in such a beautiful way that I don’t just get to learn facts about Him; I can actually know Him.

God is no ordinary subject, and theology is no ordinary discipline that can simply be “mastered” by answering enough questions or conducting enough research. No one can be a master of the Master, yet the Lord has graciously made it possible for us to know Him intimately. So, no, my professors cannot answer all my questions, and I am beginning to understand that they were never supposed to. Nor am I supposed to have all the answers. This degree is not meant to bring about “mastery,” but to cultivate a daily awe of the truth that I get to know anything at all about the King of the universe. Each thing I learn is a gift, a blessing, and a reminder that my God cares for me so deeply that He wants me to know Him. Frankly, some might call me foolish for pursuing higher education in a subject I know I will never master. To them, I would simply reiterate these words of Paul:

“For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.” (1 Cor 1:26-31)

I will never master theology, but I cannot help but praise the Lord that He has given me the privilege of being a student for the rest of my life.

Works Cited:

Mathis, David, Jonathan Parnell, and John Piper. How to Stay Christian in Seminary. Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2014.

Bavink, Herman. Reformed Dogmatics: God and Creation. Vol. 2. Edited by John Bolt. Translated by John Vriend. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker, 2004.